Q: How do I know if I'm gay?
A: This is a very complicated question with
no definite answer. It is very normal for people to question their
sexuality and be unsure of their sexual orientation. The most
important thing is to look within yourself and recognize what
you like and enjoy in a person. Keep in mind that being bi, gay,
or straight doesn't mean that you have only a physical attraction
towards a gender. The difference comes with emotional attraction
as opposed to just sexual. The best thing to do is to wait, remembering
that you don't have to make a decision immediately. Take some
time and do some reading, researching, and try talking to LGBTQ
groups (see the links and resources
section of this site), friends, counsellors, etc. In the end,
only you will know your sexual orientation.
Q: I've just had anal sex for the 1st time. When I go
to the bathroom, it hurts a lot, itches, and it sometimes even
bleeds. Is this normal?
A: Anal sex irritates, stretches, and may even
tear the tissue of the anus. Pain and bleeding is fairly normal.
Next time, be more careful. Use a condom and lots of lube to reduce
the amount of friction, making the penetrative action more smooth.
Anal sex is extremely risky if you don't use a condom (semen can
stay in the rectum for up to 3 days and enter the bloodstream
through the inflamed tissue) and sex with an infected partner
will increase the transmission risks of HIV.
Q: I have been given blowjobs by many guys
before, but lately I've noticed a few small blisters on my penis
that are neither painful or itchy. Do I have an STI?
A: You may have gotten the blisters from several
sources. One of these may be from unprotected oral sex leading
to an STI such as herpes. Another reason could be that there has
been too much friction between your dick and your partner's teeth.
You should definitely see a doctor or go to an STI clinic or community
health centre. They will be able to diagnose your condition and
prescribe a solution or suggest an alternative. In the meantime,
use condoms and refrain from sexual activities that involve your
penis and another's bodily fluids as blisters and sores are key
to HIV transmission via the bloodstream. It also puts you at high
risk in transmitting your STI and becoming infected with someone
else's diseases.
Q: If my partner and I are monogamous and we've tested
negative for HIV, is it safe for us to have unprotected sex?
A: This question has a multi-faceted answer.
One thing you should make sure of is that the test is accurate.
Be sure that you get tested at least 3 and a half months after
having sex. You should continue using condoms and wait another
3 months before doing a second test 3 months later since the infection
takes 14 weeks after the infection for the antibodies to show
up in the bloodstream. Communication during this process is key
and language barriers and unbalanced power in a relationship can
affect the communication process leading to things like lying
about an HIV test result. Using a condom should not be a trust
issue, as it is for the protect of both of you from not only HIV,
but other STI's such as hepatitis, genital warts, etc. It is therefore
recommended that you practice safer-sex in all situations.
